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Eternal Love: A Mother's Legacy

Her Silence Became My Voice

For decades, my mother suffered in silence. She never defended herself, never complained, and rarely allowed anyone to see the depth of her pain. But somewhere, without either of us realizing it, her silence began to find a voice through me.

As a child, I did not understand what was happening around me. I only sensed that something was unfair. As I grew older and my understanding deepened, I began noticing the subtle differences in the way she was treated. Every taunt, every act of disrespect, every moment she was made to feel lesser because she had three daughters or because illness had changed her appearance left an imprint on my heart.

As I grew older, something quietly changed within me. By then, we were living as a nuclear family, and many of the incidents I had witnessed as a child belonged to the past. Yet their impact never left me.

Watching my mother’s silent endurance had shaped something deep within my conscience. I found myself unable to tolerate injustice, disrespect, or unfairness—whether directed at her or anyone else. My opinions became stronger, and I learnt to speak up whenever I believed something was wrong. It felt as though I was giving words to the pain she had buried within herself for decades.

Her silence had become my voice, and her suffering had become my courage.

But by then, much of the damage had already been done.

Years of emotional neglect, silent humiliation, physical exhaustion, repeated surgeries, and the burden of carrying every responsibility alone had taken a devastating toll on her health. Looking back, I often wonder whether decades of unspoken pain slowly found expression through her body. One illness led to another, and what may have once been temporary gradually became chronic. Whether medicine can explain it or not, I could see the invisible wounds she carried reflected in her failing health.

Today, when I look back, I realize that my mother’s suffering did not end with her. It transformed me. It taught me never to normalize disrespect, never to remain silent in the face of injustice, and never to allow someone’s kindness to become an excuse for their mistreatment.

If I have ever found the courage to stand up for what is right, it is because I first witnessed what happens when a good soul spends a lifetime enduring what should never have been endured.

Looking back today, one thing has become abundantly clear to me: despite everything she endured, my mother loved my father deeply. Her love was never expressed through grand words but through quiet acts of care, responsibility, and unwavering devotion. It reflected in the way she looked after him, cared for our family, and continued to stand beside him through every phase of life.

When my father suffered a stroke, I witnessed her becoming both parents for us. She carried the emotional and practical responsibilities of the entire family while shielding us from the gravity of the situation. Hiding her own pain had become second nature by then. It was no longer an occasional act of sacrifice—it had become her way of life.

By then, she had already spent over twenty-five years of her marriage silently enduring emotional neglect, physical exhaustion, and the weight of countless unspoken struggles. The accumulated stress slowly manifested in her body. What began as isolated health issues gradually turned into chronic illnesses, each one compounding the other. Looking back, I cannot help but wonder how much of her physical suffering was rooted in the emotional burdens she carried for decades.

Yet through it all, she never stopped loving, never stopped caring, and never stopped giving.

Sometimes, I wonder whether my mother was truly human.

How could one person bear so much pain and still continue to love, serve, and forgive? How could she silently endure years of taunts, humiliation, emotional neglect, and constant differences within the family without allowing bitterness to consume her?

For years, she lived in an environment where criticism had become routine. The taunts never seemed to end. Yet she chose silence over confrontation, dignity over resentment, and sacrifice over self-preservation.

Even as a child, I sensed the tension within the house, though I was too young to understand its depth. It was only as I grew older that I began to piece together the silent battles she had been fighting all along.

Things slowly began to change after I topped my school in the twelfth standard. The way my parents and our family were looked upon gradually shifted. Respect that had once been withheld began to surface. Perhaps success made people see us differently, but it could never erase the years that had already been lived. By then, the silent suffering had already left deep scars—both on her heart and on her body.

Sometimes I ask myself whether those wounds could ever truly heal. Perhaps they never did.

Today, when I search for the roots of my own resilience, I find them in her. My voice was born from her silence. My courage was shaped by her suffering. If I have ever stood against injustice, it is because I first watched injustice unfold within the walls of my own home. Her pain became my purpose, and her resilience became my inheritance.

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Eternal Love: A Mother's Legacy

Ending the Inheritance of silence

I faintly remember a time when my mother’s jewellery was taken and invested in the family business—an investment that never returned and eventually dissolved. Perhaps I was too young to fully understand it then, but the memory stayed. Now, I understand that when the dignity of the women in a home is compromised, the cost is often far greater than what we see on the surface.

I silently worked harder, and key reason was to give my parents a better life and buy jewellery for my mother. When I finally felt I had saved enough to buy her something, she had no desire to wear such things. Perhaps she might have wanted them in the past—but in truth, she never really had a fascination for it. Somewhere, she only wanted it for her daughters, for our future, for our marriages.

When I was finally in a position to buy something for her, she had lost interest and instead insisted on buying things for me.

This brings me to what I’ve been reflecting on lately. For the past few years, I’ve wanted to travel to certain destinations, but due to several challenges, I couldn’t. Now that I finally have the freedom and approval at home to travel, it feels somewhat meaningless.

I feel that if I am to spend 5–6 days of my time, it should be meaningful. For the past 10 years, writing has been my inner calling, and it has deepened even more after everything with my mother. I now feel drawn toward a writing retreat—something that adds value, perhaps a workshop or program that contributes to my growth—rather than just travel.

Recently, I did go on a trip. When I reflect on it, I had an incredible time and entered a very introspective space. That journey gave me room to think about self-development, and perhaps I should travel for liesure once in a while. But right now, what feels like a priority is nurturing my growth, evolving, and building my skill set in this fast-changing world.

Is this why I feel these mixed emotions—that I was unable to have what I once longed for, and now, when it is within reach, it feels meaningless? Or is this a reflection of how I have evolved over time? Or perhaps, is this an opportunity for me to break the pattern of generational setbacks that my mother/grandmother and those before them may have experienced? A question worth pondering.

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Personal Triumph

Watching You Fade, Loving You More Deeply

I realise you’ve been going through so much — more than I can ever imagine. I still remember how active you once were, walking with such energy that as a child, I felt I was running just to keep up.

You gave your heart and soul to your business, and when life took that away, it also took a piece of your spirit. You had dreams of studying further, of growing and learning more, but life demanded otherwise. Then it took your parents, your beloved brother, and finally, Mum.

There are days when I feel shattered… as if my world has crumbled into pieces.
When Mum left, a part of me went silent forever — and now, watching you fade in your own way, that silence deepens.

It’s like watching the pillars of my world slowly dissolve, one after another — the ones who gave me strength, belief, and unconditional love.

I try to remind myself that perhaps, beneath this pain, life is teaching me the art of surrender — to love without holding, to serve without expecting, to accept without breaking.

Yet still… my heart aches.
I miss her deeply, and I fear losing you too.

My heart aches when I see you walking slowly now, with pain and effort. When you raise your voice, I understand — it’s not anger, it’s the echo of a silent cry within.

I feel helpless at times, unsure how to ease your suffering. Watching our parents grow old and weary is one of the hardest truths to accept. I silently pray for your peace, happiness, good health, and joy.

I try, beyond my responsibilities, to be there for you — yet it often feels like I fail, like I’m not doing enough for my own dad.

Maybe this pain is a lesson — something life is trying to teach me, a truth I haven’t yet understood but deeply need to.
I just wish I could take away all your suffering.

I love you, Dad.  ❤

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Personal Triumph

A Generation of Less, Yet More

I belong to a generation…

A generation that knew life without mobile phones or the internet.
Where homes often ran on DC current,
and days or nights without electricity were common.
We prayed instead of complaining,
and resilience was not taught—it was natural.

A generation where play was pure—
Hide and seek, lock and key, cricket, book cricket, carom, seven stones, ludo, corner-corner, kitchen set, skipping rope/jump rope, Antakshari, kho-kho, kabaddi, paper boats/paper planes, stock exchange, playing cards, and WWF cards and even cricket on the roads during strikes——innocence ruled our games, and mischief ended in laughter, not hurt.

A generation where I joined a local activity club, the only girl among the boys, yet ran, played, and laughed with unfiltered joy, my mother’s gentle nod opening the way.

A generation where spirituality was nurtured since childhood. Every Tuesday, we did devotional singing together. Everyone worked as a team to prepare, and everyone got a turn to sing. Even when we didn’t understand the meaning, we sang with full heart, from start to finish, just out of innocence.

A generation that didn’t demand everything we desired.
We understood our parents’ hearts,
and quietly let go of wishes
that could weigh heavy on them.
Gratitude wasn’t taught—it was lived.

A generation where silence spoke volumes.
A glance, a smile, a gesture
carried more than words ever could.

Simple. Innocent. Content.
We found beauty in less,
and meaning in the smallest moments.

And though the world has changed,
the roots of that generation live in me—
reminding me always
that less can still mean more.

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Healing and Spirituality Personal Triumph

From the Curve of C to the Circle of Life

I’d been deliberately chasing my purpose when, unexpectedly, a childhood moment of pure awareness came rushing back. I must have been about three years old. Until then, I remember almost nothing — as if my awareness was still asleep. One day, while learning my letters, I wrote the letter C. First correctly, then incorrectly. My mother corrected me with a slap.

It was the first and the last time she ever raised her hand at me.

For me, as a little child, it wasn’t pain that stayed — it was the sudden shock, the imprint. That shock startled me awake; it became the first clear memory etched in my life.

Sometimes awareness begins not in understanding, but in surprise.

Looking back now, I see it wasn’t just about a letter. It was a spiritual initiation, a signal that my soul’s journey had begun.

Every beginning hides itself in an ordinary moment.

The C itself holds a deeper meaning. It is a semi-circle, incomplete. That curve became a symbol of longing, of incompleteness, and of the search for wholeness. What looks incomplete may be pointing us toward wholeness.

For years, I looked outward for the missing half, believing that only someone else could turn my “C” into a circle.

This longing for meaning is not new. Across time, seekers have found depth even in the simplest of things. It reminds me of Arjuna’s story:

It is said that Lord Krishna once gave Arjuna a set of precious gemstones. For Arjuna, anything that came from his Lord was divine. So he held the gems with reverence and began to reflect. Each stone, he thought, must symbolize a truth of life, a hidden lesson.

When he shared his interpretations, Krishna burst into laughter. With his playful smile, He said: “Arjuna, I only gave you gemstones. I never meant them to carry such depth. But you — with your sincerity — have drawn out meanings even I did not place there.”

Meaning is not always in what is given, but in how we choose to receive it.

In the same way, my childhood “C” — a moment of correction, a moment of awakening — became a lifelong gem. What was only a letter turned into a spiritual mirror, teaching me. Wholeness does not come from another. Completion is discovered within.

When we connect with the universal energy, we become a full circle in ourselves. And only then can we meet another — not from lack, but from fullness.

The earliest wound may be a hidden key; what once broke us open might have been the very curve guiding us toward our circle of wholeness.

The circle was never missing — it was waiting to be drawn from within.

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Personal Triumph

The Circle of Love and Light

Teachers are not always the ones we meet in classrooms. They appear in many forms—sometimes as parents, mentors, friends, or even as life itself. Each of them shapes us in their unique way, leaving behind imprints that guide our journey. Today, I feel deeply grateful as I write about the teachers and guides who have made me who I am.

The Guiding Light of My Life

My mother was my very first teacher, and her lessons began even before I was born. From the time I was in her womb, she nurtured me not just physically but at a subtle, spiritual level. She was the one who taught me my alphabets, and I still remember the one and only time she ever slapped me—when I wrote the letter “C” incorrectly after doing it correctly before.

But she was more than just a mother. She was my friend, my sibling, my companion who played with me after school, as my timing with my elder sisters often differed. She instilled discipline in me from a young age and emphasized the importance of independence. At the same time, she pampered me with love, care, and little joys that made my childhood so special.

Her contribution to my life cannot be measured in words—her sacrifices, her strength, and even the pain she endured shaped me into who I am today.

For me, she was not just my mother; she was, and will always remain, my Guru, my Krishna. Before I bow to any divine form, I bow to her—for the values she inculcated in me continue to serve as my eternal guide.

My Dad and Sisters

Alongside my mother, my father and sisters have also been my teachers. Their love and pampering added warmth to my journey, making me feel cared for and supported at every step. Being the youngest in the family, I often received the privileges of their sacrifices—things I did not notice as a child. It is only after growing up that I truly realized how much they gave up so that I could have a better life.

My family has been my strength, silently shaping me with their love, care, and values. Whatever I am today is not just because of me, but because of them. We have always moved together as a team, and my roots, my security, and my courage come from the foundation they built for me.

Abha Miss – My Maths Teacher

Abha Miss was my mathematics teacher both at school and in tuition, but my bond with her extended far beyond academics. Her presence, support, and guidance have played a beautiful role in my journey. I will always remain grateful for the impact she had on my life.

Nisha Mam – My Spiritual Guide

After losing my mother, I crossed paths with Nisha Mam—a teacher who entered my life almost as if she had been sent by my mother herself. Her presence, her wisdom, and her way of guiding have been significant in my journey. She doesn’t provide ready-made answers; instead, she lights the path and allows me to walk it with awareness. Her presence itself is a guiding force that I often refer back to in moments of reflection.

Tony – My Mentor at Work

In my professional journey, I have been fortunate to have Tony, a senior mentor whose role has been pivotal in shaping me. He has always believed in my potential, yet never handed me solutions directly. Instead, he challenges me with direction, trusts me to put in the effort, and helps me discover my own way forward. His faith has instilled confidence in me, and his mentorship has been a true blessing

Nikhil – My Fitness Coach

And then there is Nikhil, my fitness coach, who taught me that fitness is more about mindset than just the body. On days when I dragged myself, he pushed me beyond limits, entertained even my smallest doubts, and supported me with patience. What inspires me most is his toughness and inner strength—it reflects in the way he trains and motivates. Through him, I have learned that resilience of the mind can truly transform the body, and that with the right mindset, I can do it.

The Silent Teachers – Critics and Heartbreaks

Not all teachers enter our lives with affection. Some come in the form of critics, disappointments, and heartbreaks. At the time, their presence may feel harsh, but in hindsight, they too were vital teachers. They pushed me out of my comfort zone, tested my resilience, and forced me to widen my boundaries.

The pain they caused became the fire that shaped my strength. Their criticism made me introspect, and their absence made me value presence. In their own way, they taught me lessons no book could ever offer: to rise after falling, to trust my own worth, and to keep growing even when it hurts.

A Bow of Gratitude

Each of these people—whether they brought me love, guidance, challenges, or even heartbreak—have been my teachers. Some entered through birth, some through circumstance, and some by sheer divine blessing. To all of them, I bow with gratitude. They remind me that life is a continuous journey of learning, and teachers are the guiding stars who help us shine.

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Personal Triumph

A Personal Story of Grief Beyond Words

Mom was a COPD patient and she was not keeping well, but we never thought we would lose her. She usually felt a little deterioration in winters.

Suddenly, one day she fell due to sudden dizziness, and that marked the beginning of her suffering moving to another dimension. For 10 days, she was at home under family care.

Me and my elder sister were not willing to admit her to the hospital because, subconsciously, we knew that if she got admitted, her health would deteriorate more.

But once we noticed blood in her urine channel, and she complained of being unable to pass urine, we had no choice. We called her doctor under whose treatment she was undergoing, but he denied admitting her to his hospital.

Our family doctor, who would always come to visit Mom whenever she was admitted before, also denied visiting, saying he was now too old and no longer visited hospitals.

Something did not seem right.

These eyes witnessed her suffering and crying in pain. Her hands were swollen like balloons, including her palms. Water was oozing out from her hands, and her skin looked stretched and fragile.

Her hands were restrained because there was a risk of her pulling out the ventilator pipe, which could have led to immediate loss of life. Her legs were restrained due to blood circulation issues. Her body started developing sores, and my teary eyes could do nothing but feel helpless.

Amidst all this, she was worried about me—because I was single, and she always thought of me as a kid. Even when she was not fully conscious, she was concerned about hospital expenses.

In the previous hospital admissions of my mom and dad, my sisters were the ones dealing with the doctors. They were more of the face to it.

But this time, for the first time, it was completely me.

One night, I was called at midnight by the doctors. They said they needed to put a central line (cannula) in her throat because her hands were swollen, had clots, and they couldn’t locate a vein. This central line goes directly into a major vein near the heart. I was shaken.

Three days later, she suffered a heart attack. The doctors managed to revive her, but she was then put on a ventilator.

Her suffering didn’t end there.

There is a medical protocol that says a person cannot be on a ventilator for more than a week. After that, they usually do a tracheostomy, where a hole is made in the throat so the person can breathe through it. After this, they can’t speak anymore.

It was a new term for us. We consulted many doctors—we didn’t want to go for it, but eventually, we had no choice.

In the meantime, during all those 28 days in the hospital, the doctors seemed reluctant and distant about her case. It felt like they were not taking her condition seriously. The doctor had a clear belief that she wouldn’t survive, but he did not communicate this to us openly until much later.

Ironically, he was the one who knew her case history the best. He was considered one of the top doctors in town, and her treatment was happening in one of the best hospitals in the city.

But I didn’t want to give up. I had read about near-death experiences. I wanted to leave no stone unturned.

Finally, on 24th January, her health reached a point where even the bladder, rice tube was not functioning. Her normal urine passage was blocked, and urine had to be drained through a tube inserted in her lower abdomen.

I saw blood coming out of her mouth when she tried to speak, and tears rolled down her eyes. All I could do was stand there, helpless.

She was semi-conscious, but I know my messages reached her. She heard me—and she acknowledged them in her own way.

During this time, I was pressured by many people to sign the consent form—the one that says no further treatment should be given, or that we should ask the doctors to remove the ventilator because of the hospital expenses.

But what would I do with money if I don’t have Mom?

My entire motivation to be and do something in life was through her and for her.

The reason I am something today is because of her.
She played the role of both mother and father for us. After my father’s cerebral attack, she hid all the problems and challenges from him. She never let him see the struggles she was facing.

Her strength, her sacrifices, and her unconditional love are the foundation of whatever I have become.

I refused to sign the consent form. I wanted to wait till the very last moment—until I saw her organs starting to fail one by one. At that point, she was alive in body, but gone in spirit—only her breath was moving. She was living, but it was as if life had already left.

We lost her on the morning of 27th January (Friday) due to septic shock and a heart attack.

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Personal Triumph

FACING THE FEAR – A SILENT BATTLE

A couple of weeks ago, someone told me,
“Once you’ve lost one parent and dealt with it, you become prepared for the loss of the other. You stop fearing it.”

I was under shock—astonished and surprised. I mentally said, God bless you, ended the conversation, and hung up.

Consciously, I did not remember that thought, but it seems it stayed with me in my subconscious mind.

For the past one week, I noticed myself feeling an undercurrent of fear that I couldn’t quite name—until now.

It’s the fear of losing my father.

Maybe this fear developed during that conversation or perhaps it traces back to my childhood, when my father had a cerebral attack. I don’t know. But what I do know is this:

Losing a parent is not something you get “used to.” Even after one loss, the thought of losing the other can be just as overwhelming—if not more. When one parent is gone, the surviving parent often becomes a living reflection of both, carrying shared memories and silent comforts. That bond makes the idea of further loss even more delicate, not less. This is that relation where the last strings are attached—for both of them.

I’ve also come to realize that when people speak about grief, they often reveal their own coping mechanisms, not universal truths. The person who shared this thought with me is going through a broken relationship and battling their own depression. Maybe distancing themselves from emotional attachments feels safer to them right now. Sometimes people try to minimize future pain as a way to survive current pain.

But grief doesn’t follow a formula. Love cannot be systemized. Each loss reshapes us differently.

Grief is not something to overcome, but something we learn to carry. It doesn’t go away, but it shifts and changes form with time. The love remains—and maybe that’s what helps us keep going.

Maybe the real courage isn’t in preparing for loss—but in allowing ourselves to love fully, despite knowing its impermanence.

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Personal Triumph

Read to Rise: The Silent Power of Words

Reading, for me, is a form of manifestation. You can buy the best books in the world, stack them on your shelf, and admire their covers—but the real magic lies in reading them, understanding their message, and most importantly, implementing what you learn. Especially when it comes to non-fiction, the goal shouldn’t be to chase numbers—how many books you read in a year—but to allow each book to transform you.

I believe reading is the best companion one can ever have. It offers immense wisdom and, at times, can be a complete life-changer. Through books, we access the perspectives of people who have spent their entire lives learning, reflecting, and growing. It’s a gift—a silent dialogue with the greatest minds, spiritual masters, and changemakers from all walks of life.

To me, reading is therapy. It’s a sacred practice. It’s healing.

There was a time I never thought I’d read anything beyond my academic or professional books. But consciously, I chose to start reading. And that choice has truly shaped the path ahead. I realized that this is my way forward—towards growth, awareness, and transformation.

Each book feels like a blessing—curated wisdom from countless souls across the globe. I always recommend Atomic Habits to anyone beginning their reading journey. It’s a great place to start developing the habit of reading—at any age, any stage of life.

Reading is a blessing in disguise. It can become your best buddy, your deepest companion. One who listens, who speaks, who guides. So if there’s one gentle nudge I can offer—it’s this: invite reading into your life. Not as a task, but as a quiet companion. Let it whisper truths, stir questions, and awaken parts of you long forgotten. One page at a time, it might just help you come home to yourself.

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Quotes

When Dreams Arrive at the Wrong Time

✨ Sometimes certain dreams do come true; it’s just that the timing feels incorrect to the extent that it feels meaningless. ✨

This thought resonates deeply with many of us. The dreams we once cherished may manifest when we’re not fully prepared to embrace them, leading to feelings of disconnection or disappointment.

“Timing isn’t just about the moment; it’s about the readiness of our spirit to hold what we once dreamed of.” — Priyanka Murarka 🌱

I’ve experienced moments where the unexpected realization of dreams left me feeling unprepared. Practices like mudra therapy became my anchor for calm and balance.

🧘 Gyan Mudra for Peace

Touch the tip of the index finger to the thumb, paired with deep breathing, to reduce restlessness and foster acceptance.

Reflections on the Complex Interplay Between Dreams and Timing

The Right Timing
Achieving a dream at the wrong time can teach us the value of patience and growth. It often shows that we need to develop more before we can fully appreciate our achievements.

🚀 Value in the Journey
Every step toward a dream holds valuable lessons. The journey itself shapes who we become and highlights that the process can be just as meaningful as the destination.

🔄 Reassessing Dreams
As we grow, our aspirations may change. Reflecting on why a dream feels less significant now helps us realign it with our current values and purpose.

🌈 The Bigger Picture
Life’s unpredictability means that realized dreams can lead to unforeseen opportunities and challenges. Embracing this uncertainty can reveal new paths.

🤝 Community Support
Sharing these thoughts fosters connection. Many of us have faced similar struggles and can offer support, guiding each other through moments of doubt.

🧘🕊️ Mindfulness and Acceptance
Practicing mindfulness grounds us in the present, allowing us to appreciate what we’ve achieved, even if it looks different from our original vision. Acceptance isn’t about giving up on dreams; it’s about finding peace with where we are now.

🌬️ 💨 Emotional Release
It’s okay to vent — whether through writing or a good cry. This release is as important as mindfulness, helping to clear the mind and renew perspective.

Pause, breathe, and invite peace in. 🌬️

💬 How do you navigate the timing of your dreams? What practices help you find calm? Share below! 👇