Tag: #UnconditionalLove

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Personal Triumph

Watching You Fade, Loving You More Deeply

I realise you’ve been going through so much — more than I can ever imagine. I still remember how active you once were, walking with such energy that as a child, I felt I was running just to keep up.

You gave your heart and soul to your business, and when life took that away, it also took a piece of your spirit. You had dreams of studying further, of growing and learning more, but life demanded otherwise. Then it took your parents, your beloved brother, and finally, Mum.

There are days when I feel shattered… as if my world has crumbled into pieces.
When Mum left, a part of me went silent forever — and now, watching you fade in your own way, that silence deepens.

It’s like watching the pillars of my world slowly dissolve, one after another — the ones who gave me strength, belief, and unconditional love.

I try to remind myself that perhaps, beneath this pain, life is teaching me the art of surrender — to love without holding, to serve without expecting, to accept without breaking.

Yet still… my heart aches.
I miss her deeply, and I fear losing you too.

My heart aches when I see you walking slowly now, with pain and effort. When you raise your voice, I understand — it’s not anger, it’s the echo of a silent cry within.

I feel helpless at times, unsure how to ease your suffering. Watching our parents grow old and weary is one of the hardest truths to accept. I silently pray for your peace, happiness, good health, and joy.

I try, beyond my responsibilities, to be there for you — yet it often feels like I fail, like I’m not doing enough for my own dad.

Maybe this pain is a lesson — something life is trying to teach me, a truth I haven’t yet understood but deeply need to.
I just wish I could take away all your suffering.

I love you, Dad.  ❤

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Eternal Love: A Mother's Legacy

Mother – The Highest Manifestation of the Divine

When my mother was ill, I picked up the Bhagavad Gita for the very first time and read it from beginning to end. The strongest message it gave me was this: the soul never dies. At that time, I did not know it was part of her plan — Krishna’s plan — to prepare me for what was to come.

Without warning, at an unexpected moment, she left this world. Looking back, I realize her departure was not just an ending but a divine teaching. Through her, Krishna made me live the truth of the Gita — that while the body perishes, the soul remains eternal.

She carried the weight of suffering her whole life, and even in her final weeks, it intensified to an unimaginable level. Only later did I understand — her suffering was not just hers. It was a lesson for me: to let go, to surrender, and to accept the eternal journey of the soul.

In those moments, I prayed that all the punya (merit) of my Gita reading be offered to her. My only wish on her departure was that she never returns to this realm again, for she deserves liberation forever. If it takes me countless births to balance her share of suffering, I am ready. Her story, if ever written, must be told as the story of a Goddess — for she was nothing less.

And then a deeper realization arises within me: perhaps it was Krishna Himself who had taken form as my mother, untouched by the bonds of this earthly plane. She must already be liberated, already merged into Krishna — the all-pervading, eternal presence.

Today, I breathe with this prayer: My breath is to her, from her, and for her. I ask the Almighty — give me pain, give me suffering beyond imagination if needed, but never let her endure another life of struggle.

Her life was my scripture. It taught me that while the body perishes, love does not. While grief shatters us, surrender heals us. And while we mourn loss, the soul journeys onward — free, eternal, untouched.

Every mother is that divine manifestation — higher than the Lord Himself, as even the scriptures remind us. Through her, I have seen the eternal truth: Mother is the purest form of God, and her love is the closest reflection of eternity.

Her liberation is my prayer.
And every breath I take is her legacy.

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Eternal Love: A Mother's Legacy Krishna's Devotee!!! Personal Triumph

The Last Scene I Wish to Carry in My Heart

As I journey deeper into awareness, I realize one eternal truth — everything in this world is an illusion. All relationships are fleeting shadows. Yet, amidst this great illusion, there is one bond in human form that shines with unmatched love and light, guiding us unfailingly towards the Divine — the bond with Mother.

Even the father’s love is profound, but it is the mother’s embrace, her sacrifices, her unconditional grace that is supreme. In her, I see the living altar of divinity.

Before I leave this world — before I transcend this illusion — the last scene I wish to hold in my heart is this:

My mother as Anjani Mata, myself as Hanuman Ji, and before her stands Lord Ram. As per the sacred katha, Lord Ram, the very embodiment of dharma, bows before Anjani Mata with folded hands and says:

“Dhanya, dhanya ho Anjani Mata,
jinhone aise Lal ko janm diya.”

Blessed indeed is Anjani Mata, who gave birth to such a son.

For me, Krishna is everything — the all-pervading presence. But in my heart, when I live this scene, I see Him not just as the Creator, but as the Lord of love, the eternal guide of the soul. In that divine vision, the Lord Himself bows at my mother’s lotus feet, honoring her love, her sacrifices, and her nurturing presence that shaped me into who I am.

Sometimes, I even meditate on this very scene — as if rehearsing my final moment as a human. Each time, it draws me into a transcendent state, where tears of gratitude and devotion flow. In that stillness, I feel an immense motivation: to be good, to do good, and to live in service.

And so, in my final breath, I pray that the last image I carry is of this divine scene:

My mother, radiant as Anjani Mata.

Myself, ever her Hanuman, forever in her service.

And the Lord Himself — as Krishna, the Creator — bowing in reverence at her lotus feet.

For in truth, to be born of such a mother is itself God’s greatest blessing.
And the feet of the mother will forever remain the first temple where Divinity dwells.

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Personal Triumph

A Personal Story of Grief Beyond Words

Mom was a COPD patient and she was not keeping well, but we never thought we would lose her. She usually felt a little deterioration in winters.

Suddenly, one day she fell due to sudden dizziness, and that marked the beginning of her suffering moving to another dimension. For 10 days, she was at home under family care.

Me and my elder sister were not willing to admit her to the hospital because, subconsciously, we knew that if she got admitted, her health would deteriorate more.

But once we noticed blood in her urine channel, and she complained of being unable to pass urine, we had no choice. We called her doctor under whose treatment she was undergoing, but he denied admitting her to his hospital.

Our family doctor, who would always come to visit Mom whenever she was admitted before, also denied visiting, saying he was now too old and no longer visited hospitals.

Something did not seem right.

These eyes witnessed her suffering and crying in pain. Her hands were swollen like balloons, including her palms. Water was oozing out from her hands, and her skin looked stretched and fragile.

Her hands were restrained because there was a risk of her pulling out the ventilator pipe, which could have led to immediate loss of life. Her legs were restrained due to blood circulation issues. Her body started developing sores, and my teary eyes could do nothing but feel helpless.

Amidst all this, she was worried about me—because I was single, and she always thought of me as a kid. Even when she was not fully conscious, she was concerned about hospital expenses.

In the previous hospital admissions of my mom and dad, my sisters were the ones dealing with the doctors. They were more of the face to it.

But this time, for the first time, it was completely me.

One night, I was called at midnight by the doctors. They said they needed to put a central line (cannula) in her throat because her hands were swollen, had clots, and they couldn’t locate a vein. This central line goes directly into a major vein near the heart. I was shaken.

Three days later, she suffered a heart attack. The doctors managed to revive her, but she was then put on a ventilator.

Her suffering didn’t end there.

There is a medical protocol that says a person cannot be on a ventilator for more than a week. After that, they usually do a tracheostomy, where a hole is made in the throat so the person can breathe through it. After this, they can’t speak anymore.

It was a new term for us. We consulted many doctors—we didn’t want to go for it, but eventually, we had no choice.

In the meantime, during all those 28 days in the hospital, the doctors seemed reluctant and distant about her case. It felt like they were not taking her condition seriously. The doctor had a clear belief that she wouldn’t survive, but he did not communicate this to us openly until much later.

Ironically, he was the one who knew her case history the best. He was considered one of the top doctors in town, and her treatment was happening in one of the best hospitals in the city.

But I didn’t want to give up. I had read about near-death experiences. I wanted to leave no stone unturned.

Finally, on 24th January, her health reached a point where even the bladder, rice tube was not functioning. Her normal urine passage was blocked, and urine had to be drained through a tube inserted in her lower abdomen.

I saw blood coming out of her mouth when she tried to speak, and tears rolled down her eyes. All I could do was stand there, helpless.

She was semi-conscious, but I know my messages reached her. She heard me—and she acknowledged them in her own way.

During this time, I was pressured by many people to sign the consent form—the one that says no further treatment should be given, or that we should ask the doctors to remove the ventilator because of the hospital expenses.

But what would I do with money if I don’t have Mom?

My entire motivation to be and do something in life was through her and for her.

The reason I am something today is because of her.
She played the role of both mother and father for us. After my father’s cerebral attack, she hid all the problems and challenges from him. She never let him see the struggles she was facing.

Her strength, her sacrifices, and her unconditional love are the foundation of whatever I have become.

I refused to sign the consent form. I wanted to wait till the very last moment—until I saw her organs starting to fail one by one. At that point, she was alive in body, but gone in spirit—only her breath was moving. She was living, but it was as if life had already left.

We lost her on the morning of 27th January (Friday) due to septic shock and a heart attack.

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Personal Triumph

My First Day of School: A Life Lesson in Disguise

The first day of school is not just the beginning of education; it’s the start of a lifelong journey of discovering who you are and what you’re capable of.

“Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.” — Malcolm X

The memory of my first day of school is etched deeply in my mind. It was a bright morning, and while many children were crying and clinging to their parents as they dropped them off, I was filled with excitement and curiosity. The idea of stepping into a new world, meeting new people, and experiencing something beyond the comfort of home thrilled me.

However, this excitement didn’t last long. By lunchtime, the novelty had worn off, and a wave of longing for my mother washed over me. I remember walking near the staircase, feeling lost and overwhelmed. The realization hit me hard—my mom wasn’t there to take me back home, and I was suddenly gripped with an unbearable sadness. I cried, loudly and uncontrollably, with tears streaming down my face.

I still vividly recall how the world around me moved on, indifferent to my tears. Senior students passed by, chatting and laughing, while my classmates went about their day. No one stopped to ask if I was okay or tried to comfort me. Slowly, I gathered myself, and the tears stopped on their own. Looking back now, I realize that day taught me the most profound lessons of life.

Reflections and Takeaways

That seemingly ordinary first day of school turned out to be a milestone in my journey of understanding life. Here are the key lessons it taught me:

  1. Parents Are Our Anchor of Unconditional Love
    While others around us might be indifferent, our parents’ love and care are unwavering. They are our true pillars of strength, always there to nurture and guide us, even when they aren’t physically present.
  2. You Are Your Own Comforter
    No matter how loudly you cry or how vulnerable you feel, the world often doesn’t stop for your pain. That first day taught me the importance of self-reliance—of finding the strength within to calm my storm.
  3. Life Requires Adjustment
    From the first day of school to many milestones ahead, life is about adapting to new environments and challenges. Change, no matter how daunting, eventually becomes manageable when you face it with resilience.
  4. Parents Prepare Us for Independence
    Even though my mom wasn’t there with me physically, her love and blessings gave me the courage to navigate that day. It dawned on me later in life that parents won’t always walk every step with us, but their lessons and love will guide us through every journey.

The Full Circle

From that same school, I graduated years later, not just as a student but as the school topper. The same staircase where I cried on my first day became a place of countless memories—some joyous, some challenging, but all enriching.

Today, when I reflect on that day, I see it not just as a memory but as a life lesson wrapped in simplicity. It’s a reminder that while the world may seem indifferent, the love of those who truly care for us is enough to propel us forward. It also reminds me that growth often comes disguised as pain.

Final Thought

The first day of school wasn’t just about stepping into a classroom. It was my initiation into the realities of life—a lesson on love, resilience, and independence. And though it started with tears, it ended with triumphs that shaped who I am today.

What about you? What was your first day of school like? Did it teach you any lessons that stayed with you? Share your stories—because sometimes, the smallest moments teach us the biggest truths.

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Eternal Love: A Mother's Legacy

Divine Will and a Mother’s Eternal Love: A Journey of Faith, Pain, and Gratitude

Nothing happens against the will of God.

The Lord gave me indications—not just once but multiple times.

In 2019, I was so homesick while working in Hyderabad that I left my job and returned home without any other opportunity lined up. I didn’t know then that this decision was part of a divine plan. For the last few years, I watched you, Mumma, suffer day and night. In the year leading up to your departure, your unconditional love and immense suffering consumed my every thought.

Despite the pain and the terrible side effects of the steroids you had been on for years, you never stopped pouring love upon me or teaching me profound wisdom. I remember those sleepless nights vividly—times when the world was at rest, and you struggled to sleep. I’d wake up in the middle of the night out of sheer fear to check if you were still breathing. Many nights, I lay awake, helpless, crying into my pillow, hiding my tears so you wouldn’t notice.

I wasn’t ready to lose you, Mumma. I don’t think I ever would have been ready. Perhaps my desire to hold on to you was selfish.

After Aunt passed away, my reality check deepened. I found it impossible to focus on work, overwhelmed by an urge to leave everything behind and spend all my time with you and Daddy—caring for you, serving you, and giving you every bit of love I could muster.

I used to hold a glass of water every day and imagine happy times—the three of us healthy and joyous together. The thought of losing you was unbearable. I knew friends who had lost a parent, and I always thought I wouldn’t survive if that happened to me. When the doctors discovered gallstones, I was terrified. They warned us that anesthesia wasn’t an option and that a sudden burst could be fatal.

I prayed relentlessly for years, asking God for more time with you. I longed to see you celebrate 50 years of marriage with Daddy—a dream that came true. But I also wanted to find you a son-in-law and surprise you on your anniversary. I failed at that, Mumma. I struggled to make that dream come true, and it weighs heavily on me.

The Divine Indications I Missed

In those days before your health deteriorated, you gave me signs, but I didn’t want to see them for what they were.

  • You asked Daddy to give me holy water after the Hanuman Chalisa every day. I came to you crying, asking why you’d told him to do it instead of doing it yourself.
  • I saw you laughing one last time—a joyous, carefree laugh that reminded me of Naniji(Grandmother). She too had laughed like that shortly before her passing.
  • I stumbled upon an online horoscope that mentioned severe illness in the family.
  • Multiple social media posts about mothers passing away appeared before me, haunting my thoughts.
  • I read an article stating that the first thing a person loses near death is their sense of taste. I saw you struggle with mouth ulcers and affirmed to myself, “This is not the time; Mumma will live a long life.”

I clung to denial.

On the ventilator, you asked me to consider Lord Krishna as my Guru. You had always worshipped Lord Krishna and Balaji, and in that moment, it became clear: Krishna is my Lord, and you are my personal Guru.

Today, I find solace in knowing that you are free from pain and suffering, resting in peace in Baikunth Lok.

Gurve Namah! 🙏🙏🙏

Your eternal love, teachings, and connection to the divine will guide me for the rest of my life. You, Daddy, and Lord Krishna are One in my heart.

My heart is full of love and gratitude for you. Always. ❤️

Thank you for everything. 🙏

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Eternal Love: A Mother's Legacy

Whispers of the Divine: A Mother’s Love Across Realms

They say you embarked on a new journey to a heavenly abode, but to me, you have always transcended human form, even while you walked this earth. Your extraordinary ability to read my mind and see into my heart was a rare gift. Despite the generational divide, you understood me in ways that no one else ever could. It felt as though you lived in my soul, grasping every nuance and detail far beyond what those my age could ever comprehend.

Your prayers and boundless love—both maternal and divine—made the impossible possible. They shaped my very belief system, instilling in me a faith that continues to guide me today. When life overwhelmed me, simply placing my head beneath your veil wiped away my pain, allowing me to find solace in your presence. You were my refuge.

Like the nurturing arms of Mother Nature, you allowed me to thrive under your care. Even when I faltered or neglected my responsibilities, much like how we often take our planet for granted, you forgave me without hesitation. You continued to give, as only a mother could. I slept in your protection and awakened each day wrapped in the warmth of your love. Not a single moment passes without feeling your protective shield around me—in every breath I take and every stirring of my heart. The sheer ehsaas of you lingers in the air, reminding me of the goddess you always were.

Worshipping Ma Durga brings me back to you—the way your love, care, and blessings empowered me to face my inner demons. It was your nurturing spirit that helped me conquer my shortcomings, allowing me to focus on the strength you always recognized in me.

When I invoke Ma Laxmi, I remember the abundance you blessed me with—not just in material wealth, but in spiritual prosperity and self-knowledge, guiding me toward liberation. You opened my eyes to the riches within, treasures I carry with me every day.

And then there’s Ma Saraswati—she brings back the peace I felt in your presence, the serenity found in the safety of your veil. You awakened a power in me that I didn’t know I possessed, the limitless potential that fuels my journey.

Ma Saraswati also reminds me of that bittersweet moment when the world outside bid farewell to her idol while I was bidding farewell to you, as you left this realm during your cremation ceremony.

It wasn’t mere coincidence; life has no random acts. There was a deeper synchronicity at play, as if the universe mirrored my grief, reminding me that just like the goddess you were, you will always be a part of me.

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched—they must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller

You are my eternal guide, my divine mother, and in every breath, I carry your essence with me, forever intertwined.

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Eternal Love: A Mother's Legacy

Adversity to Triumph : Mother’s Enduring Love

As I reflect on my life and the profound impact my mother had on it, I am overwhelmed by a mix of grief, gratitude, and awe. Today, I want to share a story that’s etched deeply in my heart—one that speaks of resilience, sacrifice, and an enduring bond that defied all odds.

On my very first birthday, my mother was in the hospital undergoing a crucial operation. Despite her own suffering and the uncertain future, she ensured that I wore a new dress for my special day. It wasn’t just a dress—it was a symbol of her undying love and her refusal to let her own trials overshadow my joy. Given the circumstances, she understood there might be no one else to celebrate my birthday at home. It was a gesture of hope and defiance against the adversity that surrounded us.

From the moment I came into this world, my mother’s life was marked by hardships. My grandmother had initially rejected me because I was not the grandson she had hoped for. Such rejection could have been a blow to anyone’s spirit, but my mother faced it with an unbreakable resolve.

Soon after my birth, I fell gravely ill. Doctors gave up hope, stating that my survival was unlikely. Yet, my mother’s faith never wavered. She clung to hope with a tenacity that seemed almost supernatural. She prayed fervently, undertook austerities, and observed fasts, never giving up on me, even when the medical community had written me off.

The Lord had a plan, and that plan was to give us years together that we would come to cherish. I consider myself incredibly fortunate to have been raised by the strongest woman in the universe—a woman who, despite the rejections and adversities, embraced me with a mother’s love and dedicated her life to my well-being. She sacrificed her comfort, her health, and her own dreams to provide me with education, nourishment, and the values that shaped me.

For 38 years, my mother endured unimaginable suffering and torment. It was only in July 2010 that our lives began to shift dramatically. I remember walking out of our home with the thrilling news of securing a job at PwC, a job that promised a salary that was merely a dream. Her astonishment and joy were palpable. “Really?” she asked, her voice filled with disbelief and pride. That evening marked the beginning of a new chapter for us, a period of gradual improvement and transformation in our lives.

Yet, as I now grapple with the pain of her loss, the last 38 days of her life resonate with an almost unbearable intensity. Her final days were marked by immense suffering. On a ventilator, with her legs and hands restrained, her body was swelling and oozing—each detail of her condition a vivid reminder of her torment. Despite her excruciating suffering, she was more concerned about the expenses of her treatment than her own pain. Her selflessness in those moments was a profound lesson in compassion.

In reflecting on her life, I am struck by a series of poignant coincidences. I was born on a Friday, and she departed on a Friday. I came into this world on the 27th, and she left us on the 27th. These details, though small, seem to underscore the deep connection we shared.

In the end, I am left with a heart full of gratitude and sorrow, and a profound respect for the woman who, despite her own suffering, gave me everything.

Through everything, my mother taught me an invaluable lesson: Never lose hope. As long as there is life, there is hope. Her life was a testament to enduring strength and selfless love. The pain of losing her is immense, and the grief is profound, but the lessons she imparted continue to guide me. Her life was one of relentless courage, and her legacy is a beacon of hope that will forever light my path.

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Eternal Love: A Mother's Legacy

Rising Through Grief: My Mother’s Love

Mumma left this realm in January, and gradually, after her departure, I began to feel as if the entire universe conspired for my upliftment. Recently, I realized that she never truly left me; she has always been with me and around me, and she always will be. My mother’s love has been the driving force in my life, filled with eternal love and divinity. She has always been a living goddess in my eyes. My day begins and ends with her love and blessings; she is my universe.

I often wish to bring the whole world into action for my parents. No matter how much I sacrifice, I could never repay even a fraction of their unconditional love and dedication. Within a month of her departure from this realm, I:

  • Attempted the Happiness course by Ravi Shankar and started practicing Sudarshan Kriya, followed by Sahaj Samadhi.
  • Learned basic mudras and mudra meditation from Nisha Mam.
  • Received a new job opportunity and recently joined a workplace where I feel fulfilled with my colleagues.
  • Resumed keyboard and driving classes.
  • Began nurturing indoor plants.
  • Maintained regular meditation and physical activity.
  • Adopted healthy eating habits.
  • Overcame impatience, rigidity, and a short temper to a great extent. In extreme situations, I choose to serve with love instead of reacting negatively.

In the last four months, I have been drawn to books that impart immense courage and strength, providing direction in life and helping me live in the present while enjoying the joy of peace.

Do these changes sound normal? To say the least, “No,” they do not. That’s the power of a mother’s love and her divinity driving my life.

I do break down sometimes because, despite multiple practices, emotions overshadow me. I feel the pain as if every cell of my body, every atom of my existence, is in dire need of seeing her, being with her, and feeling her emotional touch. Instantly, I’m reminded that I burned her body with these hands. I can still recall the last glimpse of her feet, which is the key to eternity. It’s alright to break down sometimes and cry your heart out.

I am being watched all the time by her, and she imparts immense strength and courage. I am not a perfect human, nor do I aspire to be one. I aspire to be a great human and to make my parents proud of who I am. I wish to serve my parents and the Lord with love and grace—that’s my sole purpose and goal at the edge of life. Last but not least, all I can say is—I AM TRYING!

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Eternal Love: A Mother's Legacy

INDISPENSABLE LOVE TO ETERNITY

As per the English calendar, it’s Mother’s Day today, and social media is flooded with posts of pictures of mothers and children. It also includes posts from people who are missing their mothers today, as they have left this realm and are resting in peace. My mother was my universe, and I lost her from this realm 3.5 months ago, on January 27, 2023. I was quite curious about the afterlife and read multiple books thinking they would bring me closer to her, but instead, I ended up crying most of the time, which is natural.

What I learned from a few of my recent reads has been incredible and transformative: Don’t worry about the afterlife; start living in the present—NOW—and enjoy the beauty of life, which is showered with the blessings and love of the Divine Mother. Her wisdom showed me two paths: either pull yourself together and live a life she would be proud of, or make your life miserable by missing her every day and falling into depression. Her divine energy is so powerful that it influenced me to practice meditation and read spiritual texts. The Bhagavad Gita taught that the soul never dies. She has always been with me and will never leave. She is in another realm, which is beyond my understanding, but we will meet again.

Every day is Mother’s Day for me, and I consider my parents as gods. It took me 3.5 months to understand this, but now it is clear that every tear I shed would hurt her soul to a level beyond comprehension. She endured unbearable pain and nausea for nine months and went through multiple operations afterward. She was tormented despite her innocence but did not leave a single stone unturned in making me a good human. She never complained about anything and made everything rosy and beautiful, pampering me as if she had no problems in life. I am the outcome of her and Dad’s love and sacrifice for all the right reasons. It’s time for me to reflect on the values they imparted and strive to be a better human being.

Please don’t cry today or any day of your life, for our mother has always been with us, within us, and around us, and she will always be. Raise awareness within and around yourself and live in the present. Experience the joy of NOW, and you will feel her divine energy, blessings, and presence in every moment of your life. Do deeds that you know will make her proud. Surrender completely to your divine mother and experience the beauty of life. My deepest gratitude to my mother, resting in peace. <3