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Personal Triumph

A Personal Story of Grief Beyond Words

Mom was a COPD patient and she was not keeping well, but we never thought we would lose her. She usually felt a little deterioration in winters.

Suddenly, one day she fell due to sudden dizziness, and that marked the beginning of her suffering moving to another dimension. For 10 days, she was at home under family care.

Me and my elder sister were not willing to admit her to the hospital because, subconsciously, we knew that if she got admitted, her health would deteriorate more.

But once we noticed blood in her urine channel, and she complained of being unable to pass urine, we had no choice. We called her doctor under whose treatment she was undergoing, but he denied admitting her to his hospital.

Our family doctor, who would always come to visit Mom whenever she was admitted before, also denied visiting, saying he was now too old and no longer visited hospitals.

Something did not seem right.

These eyes witnessed her suffering and crying in pain. Her hands were swollen like balloons, including her palms. Water was oozing out from her hands, and her skin looked stretched and fragile.

Her hands were restrained because there was a risk of her pulling out the ventilator pipe, which could have led to immediate loss of life. Her legs were restrained due to blood circulation issues. Her body started developing sores, and my teary eyes could do nothing but feel helpless.

Amidst all this, she was worried about me—because I was single, and she always thought of me as a kid. Even when she was not fully conscious, she was concerned about hospital expenses.

In the previous hospital admissions of my mom and dad, my sisters were the ones dealing with the doctors. They were more of the face to it.

But this time, for the first time, it was completely me.

One night, I was called at midnight by the doctors. They said they needed to put a central line (cannula) in her throat because her hands were swollen, had clots, and they couldn’t locate a vein. This central line goes directly into a major vein near the heart. I was shaken.

Three days later, she suffered a heart attack. The doctors managed to revive her, but she was then put on a ventilator.

Her suffering didn’t end there.

There is a medical protocol that says a person cannot be on a ventilator for more than a week. After that, they usually do a tracheostomy, where a hole is made in the throat so the person can breathe through it. After this, they can’t speak anymore.

It was a new term for us. We consulted many doctors—we didn’t want to go for it, but eventually, we had no choice.

In the meantime, during all those 28 days in the hospital, the doctors seemed reluctant and distant about her case. It felt like they were not taking her condition seriously. The doctor had a clear belief that she wouldn’t survive, but he did not communicate this to us openly until much later.

Ironically, he was the one who knew her case history the best. He was considered one of the top doctors in town, and her treatment was happening in one of the best hospitals in the city.

But I didn’t want to give up. I had read about near-death experiences. I wanted to leave no stone unturned.

Finally, on 24th January, her health reached a point where even the bladder, rice tube was not functioning. Her normal urine passage was blocked, and urine had to be drained through a tube inserted in her lower abdomen.

I saw blood coming out of her mouth when she tried to speak, and tears rolled down her eyes. All I could do was stand there, helpless.

She was semi-conscious, but I know my messages reached her. She heard me—and she acknowledged them in her own way.

During this time, I was pressured by many people to sign the consent form—the one that says no further treatment should be given, or that we should ask the doctors to remove the ventilator because of the hospital expenses.

But what would I do with money if I don’t have Mom?

My entire motivation to be and do something in life was through her and for her.

The reason I am something today is because of her.
She played the role of both mother and father for us. After my father’s cerebral attack, she hid all the problems and challenges from him. She never let him see the struggles she was facing.

Her strength, her sacrifices, and her unconditional love are the foundation of whatever I have become.

I refused to sign the consent form. I wanted to wait till the very last moment—until I saw her organs starting to fail one by one. At that point, she was alive in body, but gone in spirit—only her breath was moving. She was living, but it was as if life had already left.

We lost her on the morning of 27th January (Friday) due to septic shock and a heart attack.

Categories
Personal Triumph

FACING THE FEAR – A SILENT BATTLE

A couple of weeks ago, someone told me,
“Once you’ve lost one parent and dealt with it, you become prepared for the loss of the other. You stop fearing it.”

I was under shock—astonished and surprised. I mentally said, God bless you, ended the conversation, and hung up.

Consciously, I did not remember that thought, but it seems it stayed with me in my subconscious mind.

For the past one week, I noticed myself feeling an undercurrent of fear that I couldn’t quite name—until now.

It’s the fear of losing my father.

Maybe this fear developed during that conversation or perhaps it traces back to my childhood, when my father had a cerebral attack. I don’t know. But what I do know is this:

Losing a parent is not something you get “used to.” Even after one loss, the thought of losing the other can be just as overwhelming—if not more. When one parent is gone, the surviving parent often becomes a living reflection of both, carrying shared memories and silent comforts. That bond makes the idea of further loss even more delicate, not less. This is that relation where the last strings are attached—for both of them.

I’ve also come to realize that when people speak about grief, they often reveal their own coping mechanisms, not universal truths. The person who shared this thought with me is going through a broken relationship and battling their own depression. Maybe distancing themselves from emotional attachments feels safer to them right now. Sometimes people try to minimize future pain as a way to survive current pain.

But grief doesn’t follow a formula. Love cannot be systemized. Each loss reshapes us differently.

Grief is not something to overcome, but something we learn to carry. It doesn’t go away, but it shifts and changes form with time. The love remains—and maybe that’s what helps us keep going.

Maybe the real courage isn’t in preparing for loss—but in allowing ourselves to love fully, despite knowing its impermanence.

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Healing and Spirituality

The Fire Within – A Journey of Inner Transformation

My intention behind this painting was to portray the Sun — the ultimate source of light and love in the universe. Just like love, sunlight is warm and nourishing, making us feel held and alive from within.

But when I looked at images of the Sun from NASA and ISRO, I noticed something deeper — explosions of fire constantly erupting within it. That visual struck me.

The Sun burns itself to give light to others. It sacrifices itself so that life on Earth can exist. That selfless act became a symbol for me — of inner fire, of love, and of transformation.

From the perspective of the five elements, especially Agni (fire), this element represents transformation. And so, I chose to reflect that intense, almost desperate urge for inner transformation — which then radiates outward as the beauty we see in the world.

This painting is a reminder:

The fire within — though explosive, painful, and raw — is what gives rise to light, life, and outward beauty.
Our inner world, with all its chaos, becomes the very reason the outer world begins to shine.

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Healing and Spirituality

The Universe Within Us: From Darkness to Radiance

For the longest time, I held a vision — a desire to paint the silent, stunning dialogue between the soul and the cosmos. Finally, it found its voice on this canvas.

This artwork is more than colors or shapes.
It’s a whisper to the grieving heart. A call to those who feel lost, heavy, or too weary to take another step.
It’s a reminder that there’s beauty within you — as vast, radiant, and luminous as the universe.

As a Mudra Therapist, I often share that our body is a replica of the universe. What we hold inside — be it pain, peace, or potential — reflects outward. When we begin to heal, reflect, and realign within, our external reality transforms in response.

This painting is a celebration of that sacred alignment.

I could picture the skies in a place near the Himalayan range. Sometimes, thick clouds and rain hide the beauty. But we wait. Because we know — once the rain stops and the skies clear, magic happens.

We finally get that breathtaking glimpse we came for — the snow-capped peaks, the sparkling stars, the vast, open sky. That one clear moment makes all the waiting worth it.

Life is the same.
The grief. The chaos. The numbness. These are temporary clouds. If we sit with them, breathe through them, and gently honor their presence, our inner sky begins to clear too.

Healing is not a destination — it’s a homecoming to your own light.

So, if you’re feeling broken right now, pause. Breathe. Look within.
Like in the painting — the airplane doesn’t run from the dark; it moves toward the light. And that’s our path too.

Face your storms. Fly through them.
Because beyond the darkness… a new sun is always waiting to rise.

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Healing and Spirituality

Spiritual Growth: Not Just Upward, But Inward and Outward Too

Spirituality often begins not in peace, but in pain.

It’s in those moments of discomfort and challenge that something deeper awakens within you.

The resilience and perseverance to simply be—despite the discomfort—is the true starting point.

And a deeper shift begins when you start seeing opportunity within the pain, or the constraints life places on you.

“Spirituality deepens when wisdom emerges from resilience.” – Priyanka Murarka

You begin by gaining wisdom and slowly start using it in your day-to-day life.

The next step is learning to understand those who may not be where you are yet in their journey.

And then comes a deeper challenge—translating your wisdom into a language they can relate to.

Because while you and they look at life through different lenses, true connection lies in helping them see the bigger picture through their own perspective.

“Spiritual growth is not just upward, but inward—and then a reflection of that inward journey outward.” – Priyanka Murarka

This is where I find myself right now—learning to meet others where they are.

That, I feel, is the real essence of growth.

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Healing and Spirituality Personal Triumph

Smile: Your secret Superpower

Smile is Underrated 😊
– By Priyanka Murarka

Have you ever noticed how easily we forget to smile, especially when life throws a curveball?

We often look for complex solutions to manage our emotions.
But what if I told you that one of the simplest, most magical tools is right under your nose—quite literally?

Next time you’re upset—no matter what the reason or even in the worst-case scenario—try this simple practice:

  • Close your eyes
  • Consciously smile
  • Consciously observe the impact of that smile on your face, your mood, and your physical body

You’ll be amazed.
Your jaw relaxes, your breathing deepens, and a quiet warmth spreads across your being.
A smile softens the sharp edges of pain.
It’s like an inner sunshine that peeks through even on the cloudiest days.

I do this often.
It doesn’t mean I’m ignoring my emotions—
It means I’m choosing to meet them gently, with grace.

Smile is magical ✨
Smile is therapy 💆‍♀️
Smile is enlightening 🌟
Smile is love and light 💖✨

And the best part?
It’s free, effortless, and always available.

So today, give yourself that gift.
Smile—not for the world, but for you.

Categories
Personal Triumph

Breaking Limits: One Rep at a Time

Lesson : Stop cribbing! It only adds to the pain and keeps you from seeing what you’re truly capable of. Gather yourself and keep pushing.


This morning, my coach asked me to do bicep curls with 5 kg weights. I’d only used 2 kg before, so I double-checked — “Did you say 5 kg😭?”

He confirmed, and I began… cribbing through every rep. My arms screamed, and it felt like my elbows would snap.


After a few reps, he snapped at me: “Either switch back to 2 kg or do 5 kg without a single crib.” That hit me hard. I had a choice—to give up or try. I chose the second.


I connected with my upper arm, fore arm and then whole body and told myself, “We do this together as a team work irrespective of outcome”.
Somehow, I pushed through. Finished 3 sets of 10 reps, with enormous pain but proud.


And I noticed something:
When I stopped cribbing and focused with a positive mindset, the reps actually felt a bit better. The pain was still there—but more bearable.


Outcome: I didn’t just lift 5 kg—I lifted my mindset.


Deeply grateful to my coach — not just for pushing me physically, but for rewiring my inner dialogue. 🙏

For those who say they’ve never met Hitler (kharus old-school type) – clearly, you’ve never trained with mine 😅


And honestly, every week of workout feels like a milestone. It’s not just my body moving — it’s my mind being trained. This journey has made me realize that the body is just the medium… it’s all mind work. 🧠

Categories
Personal Triumph

A Journey Back to Her Embrace

Some journeys change something deep inside you—without warning, without effort. My recent trip to Sikkim was one such journey.

As I was approaching my destination, something unexpected caught my attention. On the way, I saw a monkey gently cradling its baby, much like how a kangaroo holds its little one in her pouch. That tender moment struck me deeply—it reminded me of my mother’s love. The kind of love that stays with you, even in silence. That one scene held more warmth and emotion than words can express.

Soon after, just as I was about to reach the hotel, I looked up—and there it was: a sunset over the Himalayan mountains. Golden hues spilling over snow-kissed peaks, stillness all around, and in that moment… something within me shifted. My heart felt full. Tears began to roll down my cheeks without any explanation. It was overwhelming, humbling, and deeply moving. I whispered to myself, this is where I belong. I would give up everything for this stillness—for this feeling of home.

A Moment Beyond Words

Honestly, what I’ve written here might be just 0.1% of what I truly felt. No words could fully contain what I experienced. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be able to fully express it—and I’ve made peace with that. Because I know I’m blessed to have lived it.

And maybe… some things are meant to be felt, not described.

The Real Journey

This wasn’t a trip I planned for leisure—it was a break I desperately needed. For the longest time, I had been yearning to escape.
From my home.
From people.
From responsibilities.
From everything.

It felt like I had been carrying too much for too long—and I just wanted to run.

But the haunting didn’t stop with the change of place. The thoughts, the people, the pain… they followed me. And then, somewhere between those winding roads and quiet moments, I realized: I wasn’t running from them—I was running from myself.

That realization changed everything.

The Himalayas didn’t just offer peace; they mirrored my chaos. And in their vast silence, I began to hear myself again. That moment of deep emotional release, standing before the mountains, was more than just awe—it was cleansing. A beginning. A homecoming.

It felt like Mother Nature held me the way my mother once did—with quiet strength and unconditional love.

The stillness around me somehow reached the noise inside me. And then, emotion welled up in my eyes—quiet, unstoppable, and deep.

In that moment, I remembered something I hadn’t felt for long.

Whenever life overwhelmed me, I would quietly place my head in my mother’s lap.
No words were spoken. Just her hand gently stroking my hair.
Tears would flow… and in that silence, I always felt—

This is the safest, purest, and most peaceful place in the Universe — I felt my higher self. I felt grounded, I felt whole. I felt a deep sense of belonging, warmth, and divine love.

That day in the Himalayas… it felt just like that.
Like I was once again resting in her lap.
It wasn’t just the mountains. It was Mother Nature. It was my mother.
It was something beyond words—like the universe held me in the very same way she once did.

And for the first time in a long time…
I wasn’t alone.

Categories
Personal Triumph

Inner ripples of outer perception

Another realization that’s been quietly unfolding within me for the past few months…

Every time I try to see or feel something far away — whether it’s a distant vision, a future possibility, or even just imagining something right in front of me — I notice something interesting.

I don’t actually feel it “outside” of me.
I feel it within me.

Even when my mind reaches outward, my experience pulls me inward.

And that’s when it struck me — whether we think or feel something beautiful or something painful,
it impacts us internally.

Our inner world is where all experiences, even the “external” ones, are processed, lived, and held.

So, in a way…
The outer is just a mirror.
The real ripple is always within.

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Personal Triumph

Read to Rise: The Silent Power of Words

Reading, for me, is a form of manifestation. You can buy the best books in the world, stack them on your shelf, and admire their covers—but the real magic lies in reading them, understanding their message, and most importantly, implementing what you learn. Especially when it comes to non-fiction, the goal shouldn’t be to chase numbers—how many books you read in a year—but to allow each book to transform you.

I believe reading is the best companion one can ever have. It offers immense wisdom and, at times, can be a complete life-changer. Through books, we access the perspectives of people who have spent their entire lives learning, reflecting, and growing. It’s a gift—a silent dialogue with the greatest minds, spiritual masters, and changemakers from all walks of life.

To me, reading is therapy. It’s a sacred practice. It’s healing.

There was a time I never thought I’d read anything beyond my academic or professional books. But consciously, I chose to start reading. And that choice has truly shaped the path ahead. I realized that this is my way forward—towards growth, awareness, and transformation.

Each book feels like a blessing—curated wisdom from countless souls across the globe. I always recommend Atomic Habits to anyone beginning their reading journey. It’s a great place to start developing the habit of reading—at any age, any stage of life.

Reading is a blessing in disguise. It can become your best buddy, your deepest companion. One who listens, who speaks, who guides. So if there’s one gentle nudge I can offer—it’s this: invite reading into your life. Not as a task, but as a quiet companion. Let it whisper truths, stir questions, and awaken parts of you long forgotten. One page at a time, it might just help you come home to yourself.