Mumma left this realm in January, and gradually, after her departure, I began to feel as if the entire universe conspired for my upliftment. Recently, I realized that she never truly left me; she has always been with me and around me, and she always will be. My mother’s love has been the driving force in my life, filled with eternal love and divinity. She has always been a living goddess in my eyes. My day begins and ends with her love and blessings; she is my universe.
I often wish to bring the whole world into action for my parents. No matter how much I sacrifice, I could never repay even a fraction of their unconditional love and dedication. Within a month of her departure from this realm, I:
- Attempted the Happiness course by Ravi Shankar and started practicing Sudarshan Kriya, followed by Sahaj Samadhi.
- Learned basic mudras and mudra meditation from Nisha Mam.
- Received a new job opportunity and recently joined a workplace where I feel fulfilled with my colleagues.
- Resumed keyboard and driving classes.
- Began nurturing indoor plants.
- Maintained regular meditation and physical activity.
- Adopted healthy eating habits.
- Overcame impatience, rigidity, and a short temper to a great extent. In extreme situations, I choose to serve with love instead of reacting negatively.
In the last four months, I have been drawn to books that impart immense courage and strength, providing direction in life and helping me live in the present while enjoying the joy of peace.
Do these changes sound normal? To say the least, “No,” they do not. That’s the power of a mother’s love and her divinity driving my life.
I do break down sometimes because, despite multiple practices, emotions overshadow me. I feel the pain as if every cell of my body, every atom of my existence, is in dire need of seeing her, being with her, and feeling her emotional touch. Instantly, I’m reminded that I burned her body with these hands. I can still recall the last glimpse of her feet, which is the key to eternity. It’s alright to break down sometimes and cry your heart out.
I am being watched all the time by her, and she imparts immense strength and courage. I am not a perfect human, nor do I aspire to be one. I aspire to be a great human and to make my parents proud of who I am. I wish to serve my parents and the Lord with love and grace—that’s my sole purpose and goal at the edge of life. Last but not least, all I can say is—I AM TRYING!